TEN LESSONS I HOPE TO TEACH MY THREE DAUGHTERS
BEFORE THEY STOP LISTENING TO ME ALTOGETHER

By Claudia Trupp

1. FIND IT!
   Do whatever it takes to find what will fill your life with meaning and joy. There is nothing more important, and no one else, not even I, can do this for you. I can tell you that without meaningful commitments to others you will spend way too much time focusing on yourself. Even with a life packed full of commitments you will still find time to contemplate the irrelevant such as how you could have passed up desserts for an entire week and still managed to gain 1.4 pounds.
2. DO IT!
   Once you have committed to something, do it. Arrive on time, every time, with your pencils sharpened, ready to rock. Don’t shirk, don’t make excuses, and don’t miss deadlines. You’ll be surprised how much this impresses people.
3. LEARN IT!
   Don’t let your day-to-day responsibilities squelch your natural curiosity. Never stop asking questions and seeking answers. Read the footnotes, deepen your knowledge, and develop your own intuition.
4. OWN IT!
   Don’t be afraid to step up and take a leadership role. You don’t have to be the CEO of the company, but if you frequently find yourself standing in center field praying that the ball doesn’t come your way, it’s probably time to find a different sport.
5. CHANGE IT!
   Just because something has always been done in one particular way doesn’t mean that’s the only or best way to do it. If it did, we’d still be sleeping in caves and watching Betamax. Experiment with the recipe, innovate, you can always revert to the old way if the new one proves disastrous. I know a lot of family dinners have been ruined by this approach, but every once in a while it results in something spectacular.
6. SAVOR IT!
   It is all too easy to wish your life away in three-day blocks, to promise yourself that you will be the happiest, most relaxed person after you hand in that term paper, land that big client, finish the kitchen renovation or earn the next promotion. But it is more important to enjoy the gift of today – don’t squander it worrying about next week’s math quiz.
7. APPRECIATE IT!
   In our house, you don’t get a glass of water without a “please” and a “thank you.” I hope that you each carry this habit with you because good manners never go out of fashion. Be generous when expressing your gratitude and appreciation of others’ efforts: when your child helps to clear the table, your spouse makes the coffee, or a colleague kills at a presentation don’t stand mutely by—praise, praise, praise!
8. TEMPER IT!
   The quality of everything from steel to chocolate changes based on the heat applied. You have to figure out at what temperature you thrive, whether pressure sharpens your mind or zaps your strength, how to balance your own internal elements. Set the thermostat of your life at the temperature that suits you best and let those around you dress in layers.
9. HATE IT!
   As the song goes, mama told you there’d be days like these. You have seen mama have enough of them to know it’s true. Part of being passionately engaged in your life is experiencing really bad days, the ones where you feel like punching the walls, weeping with despair, cursing the heavens. I promise that although it hurts, you will learn more from your bad days and your mistakes than from all your successes. Go to sleep, it will be better in the morning.
10. LEAVE IT!
    No matter how bad my day, I take solace in knowing that by dinner time I will be surrounded by the people I love. A decent meal, some laughter, the sound of a new piano piece being mastered – all help to erase the troubles of even the worst day. And remember to call your mother. I’ll be standing by with sage advice that you should feel entirely free to ignore.